Wednesday, April 18, 2007

It's Not Delivery...




Bloodninja
:Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate
:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)

DirtyKate
:Who are you?

Bloodninja
: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

Bloodninja
:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate
:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

Bloodninja:
Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

DirtyKate
: Haha! OK

DirtyKate
:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

Bloodninja
:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate
:I want everything, baby!

Bloodninja
:Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate:
Umm...Yes

DirtyKate
:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

Bloodninja
:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate
:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

Bloodninja
:You can't hurry good pizza.

Bloodninja
:I'm on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate
:So you're at my front door now.

Bloodninja
:How did you know?

Bloodninja
:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

Bloodninja
:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate
:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

Bloodninja
:So you're still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate
:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

Bloodninja
:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

DirtyKate
:What the f**k?

DirtyKate
:You perverted piece of s**t

DirtyKate
:F**k

18 comments:

Grant Miller said...

That is sick and disgusting.

The Boob Lady said...

Grant Miller: Don't tell me you've never tried it.

Dick Small said...

Hahahaa, I laughed at the end. That's hysterical. He has quite a way with the "ladies"...

The Boob Lady said...

dick small: I know. He's a real Casanova.

Chris said...

These are classic! Keep 'em coming!

Dick Small said...

Although what a waste of a perfectly good pizza, that's the sad part of it all..

dave evanns said...

Holy shit I am crying, this stuff is hilarious.

the lipstick lady said...

shame on you grant miller, you're insulting a whole part of society

love, lipsticklove35

p.s. the boob lady- feel free to message me any time...

Skylers Dad said...

I thought he was gonna pull the old dick in a pizza box trick, you know, like we all have at one time or, er another, or maybe it's just me...

Lynda said...

I agree with Dick. There is no excuse for pizza abuse!

ThePapaDog said...

At least wait for left overs...

Sloppy seconds.

The Boob Lady said...

Chris: Will do Capitano!

Dick Small: Indeed. I would be pissed.

Dave Evanns: My job here is done.

the lipstick lady: I will! :) Thanks!

Skylers Dad: So did I. Really keeps you guessing doesn't it?!

Lynda: No, there's not. He needs some help.

ThePapaDog: Tell me about it.

stilettoheights said...

another fine piece of internet "literature"

lol

Erica AP said...

Haha - do you write these out of your head? Too funny.

The Boob Lady said...

stilettoheights: I aim to please.

Erica: Jesus no. I'm not that witty!!

pezda said...

This is truly one seriously disturbed individual. Funny as hell though.

Trouble said...

I want to know where bloodninja finds these people. This totally cracks me up. I seriously need to start playing with the naughty boys from myspace. ugh.

The Boob Lady said...

pezda: Totally hilarious.

trouble: I would love to know too. They're hilarious!