Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Is For Apple...

A is for apple, J is for Jacks.

Cinnamon toasty Apple Jacks!

You need a complete breakfast, that's a fact.

Start it off with Apple Jacks.

Apple Jacks! Apple Jacks!

Ten vitamins and minerals-that's what it packs

Apple-tasty, crunchy, too!

Kellogg's Apple Jacks!


Oh My God!

I can't get Apple Jacks here in Canada anymore.

That simple fact left me feeling very melancholy for a long time.

I used to eat these when I was a kid like they were going out of style.

Then, I found them again when I was in my late teens.

I bought as much as I could.

They disappeared again and left me feeling used and slightly dirty, like a one-night stand.

I wept softly and rocked myself to sleep that night.

A couple of years later, they resurfaced.

I bought more.

I ate more.

Turns out that they did, in fact, go out of style.

Looks like I'm fucking psychic.


A friend brought me some on Monday from Maine.

She went on a little road trip and thought of me while she was down there.

My box came with a fancy Shrek the Third nightlight sort of contraption.

You wear it over your ear.

It looks like I'm wearing a BlueTooth.

I look important.

Nobody knows it's a toy for a 4 year old.

I am now consuming Apple Jacks for every meal.

Sans milk.

Usually in a wife beater and my underpants at the computer desk.

I'm not picky.


Lynda said...

Let me know when you need a fix. I might be able to set you up with some Apple Jacks.

Let me know if you need directions to the alley.

The Boob Lady said...

Lynda: Thanks doll! I might need a hook up.

Anon. Blogger said...

We have *two* of the shrek the third night lights in our house! They came in frosted flakes and in fruit loops.

(not that I buy those sugary cereals for my kids... no, not me, honest!)

I can fix you up with apple jacks, too. Name the place and they will be there! I think the warehouse store sells them in big boxes, too!

Why would they deprive the Canadians of apple jacks?? Does this happen with all that brand cereals, or just the jacks?? hummmm. It can't have anything to do with the apple commodity market, because I don't think there are actually apples in there!

stilettoheights said...

I too am offering my apple jack smuggling skills.

I am obsessive about breakfast cereal too, this post brought a tear to my eye.

Slinger said...

I am SOOO attratcted to you right now. When I come up there, you better be wearing the bluetooth and wife beater, AND THATS IT!

Skylers Dad said...

Will we get to see you on an episode of "Cops" when they bust into your house to confiscate your illegal stash of Apple Jacks, wearing your Shrek the Third nightlight, wife beater, and underpants?

I can dream, can't I?

Erica AP said...

Haha... You are so funny... You may just win this thing with your wit and good looks. :)

ThePapaDog said...

Cookie Crisp are my Apple Jacks
They are evil...

Apple Jacks

Chris said...

I don't put milk on my cereal either. People hate theat.

Laaw-yuhr said...

Oh god, I love apple jacks!

Grant Miller said...

You can't get Apple Jacks in Canada...But you can get medicinal pot just about anywhere. Yin and yang I guess.

Nobody™ said...

This post is useless without a picture of you eating Apple Jacks in a wifebeater and underpants...

Just let us know when you need some more Apple Jacks. I can fix you up with some too. I good like that.

The Boob Lady said...

Anon. Blogger: Sweet Sassy. Thank you! I don't know why they deprive us Canucks of the goodness that is Apple Jacks but we musta done something wrong. Maybe I was the only one who bought them?

stilettoheights: Thank you! I'm sorry I made you cry. :)

Slinger: Really? How attracted? I will be wearing that. Bring it.

Skylers Dad: Yes. That's exactly what will happen when the COPS bust in on me.

Erica: You're too sweet babe! :)

ThePapaDog: Yes, I love Cookie Crisp too, but alas, haven't had those in years either!

Chris: We are one of a kind.

Grant Miller: Yeah, you're right there.

The Boob Lady said...

Nobody: I'll see what I can do about the picture. Thank you for smuggling for me. It means the world!

pezda said...

Not sure if you saw my recent post about cereal, but if you look closely at the bottom left...

The Boob Lady said...

pezda: I love it!! :)