Sunday, March 25, 2007


Sweet mother of pearl.

Boots came back.


If you aren't familiar with the story of Boots, you can go here, here, and here.

I've linked them in chronological order...

Now that you're all caught up, HE CAME BACK.

Why me?

I mean, sure I deliver superb customer service, have a thousand watt smile, and a great rack, but still, is this any reason to repeatedly come to me?

Why not come in when one of the other girls are working?

Sharing means caring right?

He came back to tell me that although he loved two of his pairs of panties, his thong was a smidge on the snug side.

I don't even want to think about it.


Everytime Boots comes in, he smells more and more like a well used hockey bag.

He's sweating just a little more profusely, he's got more and more "Smackies" (The white pasty shit that gets caught in the corners of some peoples mouths), the string of spit that is connecting his top and bottom lips get thicker, and his glasses are a little more smudged.

Pray for my soul, I'm destined for eternal damnation.


Lynda said...

You are too nice to him. That's why he likes you.

Next time, listen to his question, then say, "Other coworker can help you with that. OH, other coworker...." Other coworker being their name.

Then he will go to them.

stilettoheights said...

lol, I laughed out loud at "Smackies" as that is also the name of a new pit barbeque place that just opened up in the thug filled ghetto-verse that I reside in.

Laaw-yuhr said...

What happened to the good ol' days when people were ashamed of their kink, would pretend to buy the goods for someone else with no conversation, and then slink back home with their illicit panties?

Come to think of it, he could make purchases on the internet. But no, he clearly enjoys this bit of human interaction. Well done, Boob Lady!

Erica AP said...

He sounds utterly disgusting. But he loves you and there's not really a thing you can do about it. Your customer service skills are top notch. :)

Dave Evanns said...

Boob Lady, I will tell my Uncle to stop harassing you. He get's into his kicks and tends to be a little on the smothering side.

Anonymous said...

note it's called "The Pink Stink Killer" in English, but only "Odour Eliminator" in French. What's up with THAT??

(this guy kreeeps me out from a thousand KM away-- I'm pretending he doesnt' exist.

Emma said...

ah, to be servicing transsexuals.
wait, that sounded rather naughty.
i just started a new job, and i wonder if i'll have a Boots of my own...?
dare to dream.

and it's okay, i'm destined for eternal damnation too.
see you in hell! we'll go get mr. softee or something, and hang out and taunt satan.

The Boob Lady said...

Lynda: I thought about that.. Good idea..

stilettoheights: Ha! Smackies is an awesome word. I love that you live in a ghetto-verse too.

Laaw-yuhr: Who knows. I wish some people would keep their private shit private. I don't judge, but I don't necessarily want to hear about it either.

Erica: He is! Thank you fair lady!

Dave: Thanks. He's seriously starting to piss me off.

Big Orange: I don't know, I noticed that too, it made me mad. They could have come up with something much more clever in french.
Keep pretending, it's better that way!

Emma: It did sound naughty. I love it. What kind of new job did you start? Do tell!
I can't wait to get mr. softee with you! I love taunting too. :)

Crazy Eddie said...

He sounds like one of those dude where you look at them and suddenly cringe and squint your eyes in disgust. OMG... feel so bad for you...

Try using reverse psychology on him. Try flirting with him, I'm sure he'll run away as all virgins do...

May the luck of the Irish be with you...


Emma said...

there's details on my new job in my latest post.
no rampant trannies yet, but it's early days yet and i can always hope.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

I have a friend who liked a girl who worked at a clothing store. He bought 80 pairs of jeans before he worked up the nerve to ask her out.

Grant Miller said...


The Boob Lady said...

Crazy Eddie: That's exactly what I do. I strongly consider pretending to have to go into the back room for an extended period of time, but I can't leave the damn store unattended. Feck. I bet your virgin trick'll work. I'm going to try it out next time. I'm going to blow him kisses and shit..

Emma: I asked you that and I realized that I didn't know about your new job because I hadn't read ALL of my blogs yet. Damn girl, I've got lots of reading! Got it all done though!

hootch: I DO NOT want this tard to ask me out. Not even a little. Trust me, it's been a long time, but I'll hold out even longer.

Grant Miller: I gave him your blog address and your number. He should be sending you some love soon!