Monday, March 05, 2007

These Boots Are Made For...

...Meeting strange men off the internet and inviting them to your house on the weekend to indulge in some hard core man love.

Yes, that's right folks, he came back.

He came in to the store on Thursday night as he was in dire need of some new Fundies©.

I'd had just enough time to purge the previous visit and thought that I was mentally stable enough to handle it should this gentleman return.

I should add that no matter how much time has passed, I still dreaded the return visit.

I wasn't actually sure that he would return to the store to buy something, but when I saw him walk by the other night, I knew I was in for a treat.

He strolled nonchalantly into my establishment and proceeded to converse with me.

I was busy.

Trying to look busy anyway.

It didn't work.

He came up to the counter and asked me to show him the silkiest, most colorful panties in extra large.

I proceeded to show him what I had in the store, and after much trepidation, he chose three.

As he's perusing the rest of my merch, a customer comes in to buy a robe.

"I don't think that these will fit uh..her..."

The customer looks over towards boot man, comes to the counter and hands me what she wants.

At this point, I'm pleading with my eyes for her to stay, chat, do anything but leave.

To my dismay, once she's done with her charges, she takes the bag and high tails it out of the store.

I'm left alone with him AGAIN.

I make polite small talk, tell him I hope he'll be happy with his purchase, and to have a nice night.

Again, as he's parting, he leaves me with a golden nugget.

He's met some fine gentlemen online and has invited them over to his place for this weekend.

I can only imagine that this will be an evening filled with sweaty man love, donkey shows, and Vaseline.

You're welcome.


Peter Matthes said...


I was not sure what a donkey show was.

I mean ... I have seen "Bachelor Party", but I was expecting something like THIS

However I was not ready for the depraved site that Google would provide to me.

I will not link to what I unfortunately viewed ... However ... If you feel that you must see the dark side of humanity follow these easy steps:

1) Turn off your Google safe search.
2) Put away any food that you are eating.
3) Do a Google image search for "Donkey Party".
4) Choose large images only.
5) Image number 8 speaks for itself.

The boob lady is a bad influence.

I feel like a dirty bird now, and I will not eat Mexican food for quite a while.

coffeypot said...

I don’t think he will need Vaseline. I think it will be more like a clapper in a bell.

Dave Evanns said...

I think I have seen that dude on HBO on that Real Sex show.

g-man said...

Thanks for the imagery. I'm guessing he is such a bad boy.

Next time you see him you can always ask how it went. :)

Erica AP said...

Do they still do donkey shows or was that something they did in the past. It seems as though this might be illegal now... No?

The Dancing Bear said...

No matter what the name of your store is, I'd beg the owner to change the name to "FOR WOMEN ONLY"
I think I'd rather have tape worms than wait on that guy again. Maybe you could offer him some butter covered......rice, the next time he comes in.

Nobody™ said...

Note to self: do not view the Boob Lady's blog while eating.

Anonymous said...

i have a second thumb....growing out of my thumb....

Gregory said...

I considered maybe reading your blog on a semi-regular basis...until you told this story.

Way to go.

Just kidding.