Wednesday, December 20, 2006

An Open Letter To Christmas...


First, let me start off by saying, I know it's baby Jesus' birthday, and I mean no offense to Christmas.

Dear Christmas,

Please be over soon.

Seriously, I am so over you.

I am currently prepared to cancel Christmas altogether.

I have been working for a little over a week now, with 4 days to go.

This is sheer lunacy.

Mean customers, creepy mall lurkers, old ladies in stirrups and Christmas sweaters, hooligans, and screaming babies.

Make. It. Stop.

Pretty please?

I can't handle much more of this.

I am tired, cranky, and completely unable to sleep properly.

I am beginning to develop a tic.

I've consumed entirely way too much Pepsi.

I may have also eaten my fair share of chocolates and cookies already.

I mean, come on, is it even right?

The answer is no.

Christmas is a time for sharing, for being with your family, for enjoying eachothers' company.

Not for buying exorbitant amounts of presents and pushing people around with empty shopping carts.
In closing, I would like to apologize again to Christmas. Please don't be mad at me. I really do love you, I just wish you would go away.
Sincerely,

The Boob Lady

3 comments:

Amy said...

I saw a grandmother wearing a shirt that said "Naughty". It was just wrong. I did not want to picture her being naughty. Whoever sold her that shirt (or bought it for her) should be arrested.

dirty said...

When I go to my kid's school I see lots of Christmas sweaters...as worn by the mothers of their peers.

g-man said...

Amy, at least it didn't sat that across her ass! I'm with ya Boob Lady, I am far from the retail world (except as a shopper) but I truly wish that the focus would change from the material back to the spirit of the holiday. (and not start the second after Thanksgiving).