Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific...




A seemingly uneventful evening this past Monday quickly took a turn for the worst when I was preparing my close.
A gentleman came in and started rooting through my lovely clean panty table.

I should tell you that my panty table looks impeccable. Always.

Until men come in at quarter to nine and mess it up.

This literally sends creepy crawlies down my back. I hate it.

So, he's rooting, digging, using his claws to trample the poor table and when I ask if he needs help, he says he's fine.

I'm patiently waiting while he's got his panties in one hand and begins to look through the sleepwear.

He comes to the counter and lays his goods down.

It's at this point that I realize he's drunk.

Totally inebriated.
As I'm ringing in his purchases, I notice that he's leaning a little bit closer to me, inch by inch.
I'm still being polite, telling him his total, taking his money, slowly leaning back.
He's still coming.
I notice that his eyes seem to be closing a little, he's sniffing.
He's SMELLING me!!!
Seriously.
I am almost sitting on the opposite counter since he's practically straddling my counter and
smelling away.
I smile, pass him his change and wish him a nice evening and a Happy Holiday.
He turns to leave and just as he's about to exit the premises, he turns to me and tells me how nice I smell.
With that, he's gone.

Out the door.
Like an apparition.
A drunk apparition who likes to smell attractive sales people with nice boobs.

6 comments:

Chris said...

Aren't the holidays wonderful? I think your paths will cross again. He may just be "the one".

g-man said...

Since you are ok, that was too funny. You could have sniffed him back and asked if he just finished a shit sandwich. Do you wear perfume, or was he just groovin' on your brand of soap?

Frank Sirmarco said...

Creepy.

Coffeypot said...

I do, too. Even sober! I can sniff and snort all over the place like a dog checking you out. Most of the time I can do it with my tongue in my mouth, but sometimes it gets out – it has a mind of its own. sniff sniff

Amy said...

Ew.

Big Orange said...

well, DO you smell nice? or was that an X-cuse to check yer rack??

I always feel slighty naughty examining underthings, ESPECIALLY when they're delicately organized. *I* might be tempted to take a sniffer @ ya, but I sho' as hell wouldn't fuck up your neat laundry pile.