Sunday, May 13, 2007

Opposable Thumbs...


Check out the "Mother's Day" email the "cats" sent me.

They're smarter than I give them credit for I guess.

I go out for groceries and this is what I come home to.

I bet they're the ones downloading all the porn too.

Hey Mommy, this is Todd, i know you always thought I was the dumb one but lets see Jack type this shit, He made me put his name on this letter but for the record I did all the work. A few requests on your special day, please stop calling me blockhead, meatball, gronk etc.....it hurts my feelings oh and jack says he dosn't need as much food as the average cat so you can put the extra in my dish. Besides that just wanted to tell you you are the best mom two little cats could ever hope for and we love you ( me a little more than jack ). Hope you have a wonderful mothersday.

Love Todd and jjjAACCKK ( jack insisted on typing his own name, dumbass)

25 comments:

dirty said...

If I had cats, I would wants cats just like these.

You must be so proud Boob Lady.

stilettoheights said...

lol....your cats in my brain have the personalities of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, Todd is Affleck, you know the one you assume is retarded, but it turns out...he's not, he's just fat.

seems right.

Lynda said...

See, all my cats gave me was their butts in my face. First thing in the morning. Butt in face in bed.

Your cats are so cute.

Skylers Dad said...

Ha ha, Jack doesn't need as much food. I love that!

GETkristiLOVE said...

I use to have two cats up until a couple years ago. They were avid emailers if I ever left my laptop on and then one day I came home and they were napping upstairs on the bed, while taping Oprah (for later, one would assume). I had to hide all the remotes after that.

I love that you have a cat named Todd! How did they get their names?

Anon. Blogger said...

That was great, Boob Lady!! "please stop calling me blockhead, meatball, gronk.." Funny.

I call one of my dogs 'loser' all the time. I'd love to hear his thoughts, but he can't use the computer... he *is* just a dog, after all. What a loser...

alexgirl said...

I love your cats! i didn't know you had fancy siamese cats. Very cool.
My cats write me emails sometimes, but they can't spell for shit. Todd and Jack seem fairly bright.
I bet you make a good cat-mommy!

Erica AP said...

Haha... I wish my dog wrote me a mothersday email.

Just Dave said...

Just when you are ready to drop them in the wood chipper, they do something like this. Sniff.

Grant Miller said...

You should change their box just for that.

The Boob Lady said...

dirty: They make me proud every day. :)

stilettoheights: OMG, that is so right. You're hilarious!

Lynda: I get the butt in the face too. Trust me.

Skylers Dad: That part cracked me up.

GETkristiLOVE: HAHA! I love that! Did they only watch Oprah or did they catch Dr. Phil too? Jack got his name completely randomly, it was just something that fit him. He was actually a Pablo first, but that didn't work. Todd was a gift from the ex's step-dad whose name is Todd. It fits completely.

Anon. Blogger: I bet he's downloading porn all day, you just don't know it yet. :)

alex: I love my fancy siamese cats, they're awesome. Here I thought my cats were both retards. :) I bet you make a great cat mommy too!

Erica: Maybe you'll get one for your birthday!

Just Dave: I know. Warms the cockles of my heart.

Grant Miller: I did. :)

greggoconnell.com said...

wow such a sweet cats! if only herbie and yoshi would acknowledge me as their mother :(

Peter Matthes said...

My attack cat likes to use the threat of violence, over her literary skills, to get her point across.

Captain Smack said...

That's impressive, yet Todd could still use a little practice with punctuation, particularly in the area of the proper placement of commas vs periods.

(hilarious post)

metrobabe said...

"Todd". Ha. It's like calling a cat "Steve" or "Gerrod".

Nicole said...

Todd deserves more food after typing all of that. It's amazing how much you can do without opposable thumbs.

great blog!

molly said...

i love that you love chuck palahniuk
have you read his new book yet? hes coming to my hometown but i cant go, which is a bummmmer
ANYWAY happy mothers day, wish my animals were so thoughtful and considerate

Anonymous said...

Captain smack sounds like a meatball to me I bet he cups his farts and smells them if you don't like the little cats punctuation keep it to yourself

Captain Smack said...

I do apologize, Anonymous. I didn't mean to be so critical of your -- er, I mean Todd's -- punctuation.

Todd is clearly a very intelligent cat, who has exceptional spelling skills.

The Boob Lady said...

gregg: OMG, you're here? And, I'm sure they lick you everyday! :) Only Jack licks me, Todd really couldn't care less as long as I keep the food full and the shitbox clean.

Peter: HA! Your attack cat looks a smidge on the genteel side.

Captain Smack: BWAHAHAHA!! I love it.

metrobabe: I tried for John Travolta first, it didn't fly.

Nicole: I did slip him a little extra gravy in his dish unbeknownst to Jack. Thank you! Stick around!

molly: OMG, I am in love with Palahniuk. I've read it all, some of it twice and three times. I can't believe you can't go see him, how come??! Happy Belated Mother's Day!

Anonymous: HAHA! Reet.

Captain Smack: You hit the nail on the head there.

pezda said...

I also have a siamese, her name is Elli. I'm her favorite, she could care less about the wife and the kids are a nuisance.

Doc said...

For what it is worth, I had a dog named "Dickhead" once. The name just seemed to fit.

Doc

The Boob Lady said...

pezda: Aren't Siamese great?

doc: I love it. Dickhead is AMAZING!!

Crazy Eddie said...

OMG. That was great. I'm peeing ova hea...

Maybe I should have a talk with Cheech and Chong (my Hag's cats). I've been neglecting them of late.

...meatball, gronk... I love it.

Besos para siempre.

The Boob Lady said...

crazy eddie: I think you should give Cheech and Chong some love! Gronk is my favorite. :)

Love ya!