Sunday, May 27, 2007

Finale Time...




Well folks, without further ado, here is the Grand Finale of the Blood Ninja series. I assure you, if I get more, I will pass them along to you.
-----------------------

sweet17 : Hi

Bloodninja
: hello

Bloodninja
: who is this?

sweet17
: just a someone?

Bloodninja
: A someone I know?

sweet17
: nope

Bloodninja
: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17
: well sorrrrrry

sweet17
: I just wanted to chat with you

Bloodninja
: why?

sweet17
: nevermind your an jerk

Bloodninja
: Hey wait a minute

sweet17
: yes?

Bloodninja
: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

sweet17
: paranoid?

Bloodninja
: yes

sweet17
: of what?

sweet17
: me?

Bloodninja
: No. I'm in hiding.

sweet17
: LOL

Bloodninja
: Don't fucking laugh at me!

Bloodninja
: This shit is serious!

sweet17
: What are you hiding from?

Bloodninja
: The cops.

sweet17
: gimme a fucking break

Bloodninja
: I'm serious.

sweet17
: I don't get it

Bloodninja
: The cops are after me.

sweet17 :
For what?

Bloodninja
: I'm wanted in three states

sweet17
: For???

Bloodninja
: It's kindof embarrasing.

Bloodninja
: I had sex with a turkey.

Bloodninja
: Hello?

sweet17
: You are fucking sick.

Bloodninja
: Send me your picture.

sweet17
: why?

Bloodninja
: so I know you aren't one of them.

sweet17
: One of what?

Bloodninja
: The cops.

sweet17
: I'm not a cop i told you

Bloodninja
: Then send me your picture.

sweet17
: hold on

Bloodninja
: Hurry up.

Bloodninja
: Are you there?

Bloodninja
: Fuck you, cop!

sweet17
: Hey sorry

sweet17
: I had to do something for my mom.

Bloodninja
: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Bloodninja
: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Bloodninja
: Weren't you!?

sweet17
: thats not it

Bloodninja
: Then what?

sweet17
: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

Bloodninja
: Most cops aren't

sweet17
: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!

Bloodninja
: Then send me the picture.

sweet17
: fine. What's your e-mail?

Bloodninja
: Just send it through here.

sweet17
: alright *PIC*

sweet17
: Did you get it?

Bloodninja
: Hold on. I'm looking.

sweet17
: That was me back in may

sweet17
: I've lost weight since then.

Bloodninja
: I hope so

sweet17
: what?!?

sweet17
: that hurt my feelings.

Bloodninja
: Did it?

sweet17
: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

Bloodninja
: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17
: yes

Bloodninja
: Alright let me find it.

sweet17
: kks

Bloodninja
: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17
: this isn't you.

Bloodninja
: I'll be damned if it ain't!

sweet17
: You don't look like that.

Bloodninja
: How the hell do you know?

sweet17
: cause your profile has another picture.

Bloodninja
: The profile pic is a fake.

Bloodninja
: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17
: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Bloodninja
: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

Bloodninja
: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17
: Go fuck yourself

Bloodninja
: I was going to until I saw that picture

Bloodninja
: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.

sweet17 :
I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

sweet17
: You've done nothing but slam me.

sweet17
: you hurt me.

Bloodninja
: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

sweet17
: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

Bloodninja
: Why would I do that?

sweet17
: I can't believe that cops are after you

Bloodninja
: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17
: FUCK YOU!!!

Bloodninja
: You'd break both of his legs.

sweet17
: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!

sweet17
: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17
: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

Bloodninja
: Ok. I'm sorry.

sweet17
: No you aren't


Bloodninja
: You're right. I'm not.

Bloodninja
: HAARRRRR!

sweet17
: I'm done with you

Bloodninja
: Aww. I'm sorry.

sweet17
: I'm putting you on ignore

Bloodninja
: Wait a sec

Bloodninja
: We got off on the wrong foot.

Bloodninja
: Wanna start over?

sweet17
: No

Bloodninja
: I'll eat your kitty

sweet17
: You'll what?

Bloodninja
: You heard me.

Bloodninja
: I said I'd eat your kitty.

sweet17
: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Bloodninja
: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17
: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Bloodninja
: Well I'm not like most men.

Bloodninja
: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17
: Like what?

Bloodninja
: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17
: I don't know

Bloodninja : You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17
: I'm afraid to

Bloodninja
: Why?

sweet17
: cause

Bloodninja
: cause why?

sweet17
: well lets see

sweet17
: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17
: doesn't that seem strange to you?

Bloodninja
: Nope

sweet17
: well its strange to me

Bloodninja
: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

sweet17
: I didn't say that

Bloodninja
: So is that a yes?

sweet17
: I guess so.

Bloodninja
: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Bloodninja
: Are you willing?

sweet17
: What do you need me to do?

Bloodninja
: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17
: ???

Bloodninja
: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Bloodninja
: ok?

Bloodninja
: Hello?

sweet17
: You can't be serious

Bloodninja
: Oh yes I am!

Bloodninja
: It's my fantasy.

sweet17
: this is retarded

Bloodninja
: Do you want it or not?

sweet17
: Yes I want it.

Bloodninja
: Then you'll do it for me?

sweet17
: sure

Bloodninja
: Ok. Here we go.

Bloodninja
: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Bloodninja
: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Bloodninja
: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

Bloodninja
: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.

sweet17
: mmmm yeah

Bloodninja
: uh oh ...going limp.

sweet17
: Har

Bloodninja
: You gotta do better than that!

Bloodninja
: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17
: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja
: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

Bloodninja
: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Bloodninja
: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Bloodninja
: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17
: mmmmmm you are good

Bloodninja
: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder

Bloodninja
: going limp

sweet17
: HARRRRRRR

Bloodninja
: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Bloodninja
: You begin to sway back and forth.

Bloodninja
: going limp

sweet17
: this is stupid

Bloodninja
: ...still limp

Bloodninja
: Do it!

sweet17
: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja
: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

Bloodninja
: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Bloodninja
: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17
: WTF?!?!?

Bloodninja
: They stink really bad.

sweet17
: OMG STOP!!!

Bloodninja
: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Bloodninja
: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Bloodninja
: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17
: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

Bloodninja
: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Bloodninja
: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

Bloodninja
: I kick you in the face!

sweet17
: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!

Bloodninja
: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

Bloodninja
: Your parrot flys away.

Bloodninja
: ...going limp again.

Bloodninja
: Hello?

Bloodninja
: Say it!

Bloodninja
: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

19 comments:

Captain Smack said...

This is brilliant. It's very rare that something can make me genuinely sad, yet also make me laugh my ass off at the same time. The poor girl...

HAARRRRRRR!

Skylers Dad said...

"The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin..."

That one made me choke on my morning cup of rum!

Crazy Eddie said...

That was the pinnacle of what makes me cramp in the gut. I enjoyed it beyond words. So many emotions...

Pirate fantasy sex and massive insults (battleship of an ass) galore. I loved it...

Sad it's done though.

Glad you're back baby doll. Miss you bunches.

Besos

McNazty. said...

I nearly fell out of my chair from laughing. How was the vacation?

kirby said...

I think I just had a vision of how Heather Mills will die. Because you know with his money, Sir Paul could totally hook that up.

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

Y'all saved the bestest for lastest... "i rip off your peg leg"... BWA HA HA HA HA!!

The Boob Lady said...

Captain Smack: Haaaarrrr me matey!

Skylers Dad: I'm sorry! I hope you salvaged the rum!

Crazy Eddie: I'll keep you hooked up, I can't bear to see it end like this! Miss you too! Mon amour.

kirby: OMFG, I just choked on MY pepsi!

Uncle Moonpie: :) I aim to please!

The Boob Lady said...

McNazty: It was lovely thank you! I just needed some unwind time!

Anonymous said...

OMFG...
rammed her peg leg up her ass poured carmel over her head an made her into a candy apple.

SUMBITCH! that is some funny shit.

Great to have you back. You always give me a great start to my work day.

Heather said...

poo nuggets was the best part! hahahaha

ThePapaDog said...

Too funny! Gives a whole new meaning to poop deck...

Reg said...

That Boob Lady was brilliant! I've been laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.

Arrrrrrrrr!

pezda said...

My side hurts. I have to stifle the laughter lest I wake the kids. This really is both tremendously sad and tremendously funny at the same time.

twiffer said...

no one ever told me having sex with a turkey was illegal!

damn.

Frank Sirmarco said...

God, I'd forgotten how funny that one was. I nearly pissed myself at the office...

Jon said...

Holy crap that was funny.
Nice work.

The Boob Lady said...

Anonymous: Thank you! I'd love to know who you are, but I'll take an anonymous reader anyday!

Heather: I loved it!

ThePapaDog: Doesn't it though?

Reg: I hope you cleared the tears! Haaaaaaaaar!!!

pezda: Did you wake the chitlens? I hope I didn't cause a ruckus in the house!

Twiffer: So sorry. It may be perfectly legal in your state. :)

Frank: I know!! Congrats by the way!!

Jon: Thank you!

Trouble said...

OMG, you are SO WRONG. And yet so very, very RIGHT. HARRRRRR!

Dave Evanns said...

HOLY SHIT! I have not laughed that hard in a LONG time, thanks Boob Lady! I am still crying!