Guess who I saw today?
Mother fuckin' cookie ears!!!
I swear, she was trotting around the mall in a pair or high heel sneakers. Yeah, you know the ones.
Her earrings were BIGGER than ever!
I almost shat myself.
THEN... I went North in the city to the drug store, and lo and behold, in strolls cookie ears.
Sumbitch.
I can't shake her.
So, I've switched jobs.
I'm working for a top athletic retailer now.
Quite the shift from my previous employer.
So far, I'm loving it.
I went from slinging bras and panties to schlepping sneakers and insoles.
Who knew?
I'll have plenty of hilarious stories to tell soon, I've got a few under my belt already, I'm just waiting for the right time to spring them on you.
Thanks for sticking around, it means a lot.
Plus, feel free to call me whatever you like; The Boob Lady, The Foot Lady, I'll leave the title of the blog as is for now, until I find a name that suits it perfectly.
Hey Kids,
I'm alive..
I'm terribly sorry that I'm not commenting or blogging right now.
I started a new job and I've been working for what seems the last 203981203987 days.
I promise, I won't let you down.
I'll be back.
With a vengeance.
You'll see.
Stick with me.
x
Again, I use my freedom of speech to declare my love for a wonderful person in my life.
An amazing man, that, without his love, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Thank you for letting me be myself.
Thank you for talking to me about girl things, even though I'm sure you would rather not.
You listen to me bitch, you listen to me laugh, and you listen to me cry.
Never do you have a bad word to say to me. (Unless, of course, it's the "word of the day"...)
Thank you for being a rock in a sometimes unsteady pasture.
I count my blessings everyday for you, you know what I mean.
I can't imagine my life without you.
You help Mema pad the bank accounts, even though you're working so hard for that money.
You play endless amounts of online poker with me, and you stay up into the wee hours when I last longer. (Which is more often than you I believe...)
You laugh at my jokes, even when you don't get them.
You laugh so hard you cry when I make Mema laugh so hard that she's had to pass the phone over to you.
You support me in every choice I make, even when I'm not sure I'm making the right one.
You go along with it when Mema sends me care packages full of things that I should be able to get myself.
You leave love notes in those care packages, because you know how much I love getting them.
You love us unconditionally and tell us so.
You tell me how proud you are of me, no matter what I'm doing at the time.
You roll with it when I tell you my suspicions with regards to your listening to Enya.
You lovingly call me the dog's name and then hilariously pretend you didn't do it. (Or, you do it on purpose.)
Contrary to what they say, you make me feel like I can always come home.
No matter how far away I am, you always make me feel like we're so close.
Despite everything that we've all gone through over the years, you are, by far, my favorite man in the world.
I'll always be your little girl, I'll always be your baby.
You're always in my heart, thoughts, and a piece of you is put into everything that I do.
Thank you for loving me, for being a part of my creation, for being there whenever I need you.
You are a pillar of strength, a formidable human being, and you'll always be my hero.
Enjoy the day that was made for you.
Happy Father's Day.
I love you so much.
**Update: Turns out, it's Enigma, not Enya. My apologies.
I'm back kids.
I'm sorry I scared you.
I've actually just given my notice at the "Boob" place.
I'm going to let things fall into place.
I've earned some good karma I think, I intend to cash in now.
:)
I'll give you more details as they become available.
Thanks for sticking around!
You guys are the best.
(PS: I am still reading all of your blogs, I have just been sooo busy that I haven't had the time to comment on them all, be patient! I'll be with it soon!)
Overheard tonight:
Name Protected: "Did you hear about the new diet pill on the market?"
Me: No, what is it?
Name Protected: "Well, apparently, one of the side effects is that you'll pudding in your pants."
Me: "I'm sorry, did you just say "Pudding in your pants?"
Name Protected: "BWAHAHA!! Yes, I was just watching a pudding commercial."
Me: "..."
Hey kids...
I have some news.
I don't know how you're going to take it.
It's not you, it's me.
I just, I... Oh, God...
This is so hard.
Okay, I'm just going to say it.
I'm not going to be the Boob Lady anymore.
Jenn over at Stiletto Heights nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award.
I'm so honored!
Who knew that this little ol' Boob Lady would make someone think!
Thanks Jenn!
Since everyone else is doing it, why can't I?
Nothing came up for "The Boob Lady Needs", so I went ahead and used my first initial.
J needs to play.
J needs to work on her parenting.
J needs to find herself a baller.
J needs one.
J needs to have a cap!
J needs a clone.
J needs balance.
J needs some uninterrupted time to work on converting the first 140 or so comics.
J needs a good home.
J needs a new home.
Today marks the first day of my rigorous, if not feeble attempt at losing a shitload of weight before the beginning of July.
I can do it.
A steady diet of air and water is on my list.
Kidding.
Sort of.
I don't aspire to be a supermodel, just not a beached whale.
Next on my list is a kick ass tan (what with me being pasty and all...) and I'll be set.
Okay, last video post for a bit.
I just had to post this so that I could watch it 120398120387 times a day.
Simply amazing.
My favorite cartoon character of all time?
Herbert the Pervert.
Dare to question me.
I just got this email in my inbox.
Just how they knew I needed some help is beyond me.
It's like they can read my mind.
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