Pizza and Hairballs

Yesterday afternoon while I was at work, I got an exciting yet disturbing call from the man. He called to see if I wanted him to make me a pizza that would be ready when I got home from work at 9.

I jumped at that offer.

Free homemade pizza? That I don't have to make myself?

Hell Yes.

So I proceed with my evening as normal, quietly excited at the fact that I am going to get a nice warm meal after work. (This isn't a regular occurrance if you are wondering...)

The pizza eating passes without incident.

That is until about 25 minutes after the eating has subsided.

The man turns off the lights in the living room (Which is where we eat) so that the television watching can be done just so. We watch the first little bit of Lost, and all of a sudden, I hear:

"Hmm.. What's this?"

A few moments pass.

"Eww, what IS this?"

A few more seconds pass.

I turn on the light and look over to the source of the "Eww-ing".

The man is holding in his hand a real life, genuine, cat-made furball. We're talking fur, the loogie he may or may not have horked not long before the pick-up was made, and other various cat rejections.

I wish someone other than me could have been there to witness the face that was made.

It was a fine blend of the following:

Disgust
Horror
Possible Vomit Scrunch Face
Impending Tears
Nostril Flare
Half Smile (probably because he thought it wasn't real)
And finally,
Possible Vomit Scrunch Face

I looked over at him, contemplated bursting into laughter, and instead, sympathetically offered my open palm for the discarding of the furball.

When I came back, the man said something that no person should ever say, no matter what the circumstances, or what may or may not have been on the floor at any given time.

"I thought it was cheese."

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for the "Five Second Rule", but cheese?

Never.

Especially if it has come off the floor.

When you own a cat.

Who sheds alot.


Enough said.