Thursday, April 20, 2006

Holy Mackerel!

Just a couple of funny anecdotes to keep you coming back...

Saturday past. Long day, not real busy. Loads of rotten hooligans, senior citizens, and young mothers. The day goes as planned, helping customers, taking breaks, listening to screaming children and swearing young ones.

All day, as you may know, the poor woman/girl/man/boy that is sitting at the information booth/guest services area of the mall are announcing things.

"Joe Blow, please return to the tire department at Sears, you forgot your baby."

"Sally Mae, please return to La Senza, you left your furry thong."

"Will the woman who just purchased the extra large condoms and the Preparation H please return to Shoppers."

"Would the person with license plate BLO-ME please return to your car, you left your headlights on."

And so on and so forth...

Well, this particular Saturday afternoon, things on the P.A front were pretty normal until about 4 pm. This is the announcement that was heard mall round.

"Anita Beaver, please come to guest services... ANITA BEAVER."

It should be said that I have a perverse mind. Extremely perverse. But still.. Come on!! Anita Beaver??

As soon as the poor woman, who clearly got duped into announcing this utterly hilarious name, was finished saying this over the loud speaker, I whipped my head around to see if anyone else heard this.

It appeared that I was the sole witness to the hilarity. I look to the employee that was working with me. She did not respond. In the least. I was devastated.

Said employee is also in her 60's so I didn't think that she would actually get the importance of such an announcement. But still. I thought maybe, just maybe, she would get it. No such luck.

Since I had nobody to share this moment with, I hurried to the back room and sent a quick text message to my brother, who I knew would get the joke.

He didn't get the joke. He didn't even get the message. All that typing I did on the tiniest keypad imaginable. I was too lazy to send it again later, so I called my mom.

At least she laughed. I'm convinced that I get my sick sense of humour from her.

Amen. Thanks Mom! You make me proud.



Anonymous said...

Jennifer....I haven't laughed this much at work in forever!!


Anonymous said...

ANITA BEAVER!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You make my life!!!! You're hilarious!!!!!!!!!!