The Girl in the Bubble

So, the man says I should be in a bubble.

All the time.

I am starting to think he's right. Let's see; I'm always sick, sore, and/or sick AND sore. I fall alot, bang into things, walk into walls, and roll my ankles.

Bubble? Starting to look promising.

Picture this: I was leaving for work on Tuesday morning. It was raining. Heavily. My back stairs are slimy.

(I attribute this to the fact that when the stairs were newly built, they were not treated with any sort of stain or whatever else it is that you put on new stairs when built.)

Soooo.... I'm carefully descending the staircase while holding on to the side rail, my pants (so I don't get too wet at the bottoms), and bags. I am thinking the whole time that I am going to go tits up down the entire flight.

Lo and Behold, I make it to the bottom in one piece and relatively dry to boot.

This success was short lived.

Once I get to the safety of the landing, in what seems like it can only be occurring in slow motion, one foot crosses behind the other, causing the foot in the front to kick forward. I see my purse gliding to the left, my lunch/carry-all bag soaring to the right, and my arms looking for something other than air to grab ahold of.

No such luck.

I hear a muffled snap (my spine I believe), as my upper body twisted in such a way I never thought possible, a whoooshing sound, (my body in flight), and a sort of "Shucking" sound. (The rest of me sliding along the slime covered landing)

Imagine a newborn giraffe.

Limbs, neck, wierd noises. The whole nine yards.

I didn't fall per se, I more like caught my body, mid-air from crumpling into a heap on the stairway.

It was certainly a close call. I was able to regain my composure before walking around the building to go to my car.

I was also able to hide this hilarity from the man who was looking out the window on the other side of the building. He was none the wiser to my close-call.

The only side effect of the complete disarray that my poor body was in?

Bad back and lack of bending skills for the better part of the day.

Who needs to bend anyway?