Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Biscuits...




I totally saw Mother Fuckin' Cookie Ears at the mall the other night..

I damn near shit my pants.

Her flowing Brillo Pad hair was tucked ever so gently behind them, which only served to accentuate the sheer size of her mammoth hearing vessels.

Seriously, I can't shake her.

Perhaps that small hole I noticed in my neck last year around this time was actually a GPS unit Cookies had installed to keep track of me.

All I hear as I type this are the lyrics to Somebody's Watching Me, by Rockwell...

Creepy.

13 comments:

tinakala said...

Damn. I guess cookies are in season.

Anonymous said...

"Hearing vessels".....
You are a riot!
You must live in a fairly small town.... or this b1tch is really stalking you. You should put on a trench coat and hat and start following her around.....pretend to be reading a newspaper when she turns to notice you...... quickly take notice of the very interesting surrounding achitecture if she happens to see you...... then put your head down and follow her everywhere she goes. It's the "reverse stalk".... beautiful.

David

Megan said...

Horray, you're back to posting!

Maybe Cookies Ears can just hear you comming with those giant ears. It's possible.

alexgirl said...

cookie ears! awesome. i haven't heard her name in a while. Definitely get a GPS unit tracker. that would rock. no more cookies!!!

Lynda said...

Well, on the bright side, if she doesn't go into your store, she doesn't have you pinpointed. :)

g-man said...

GPS

molly said...

"I always feel like....somebody's WATching meeee....and I have no privacy (oh oh oh)"
thats actually michael jackson singing that, believe it or not
CLASSIC
its been so long since ive been to your blog
im very happy to be "back"

Erica AP said...

Ummmmm, cookies....

Palm Springs Savant said...

missed you...glad you're posting again. don't let those cookies scare you..take one bite at a time...s-l-o-w-l-y!!!

'Bubbles' said...

Whoa. Welcome back, Boob Lady! Missed you soooo much.

The GPS theory might just be it. Technology can be scary.

Emma said...

OU EST YOU, LADY OF THE BOOBS?

Crazy Eddie said...

I somehow managed to imagine cookie ears as some horrifyingly wicked beast who's ears baffle and confuse.

I missed ya ever so much.

(By the way, I'm not really foreign as I'm third generation American)

Oh wait, you're from Canada... I almost forgot... lol.

Besos para siempre

Anonymous said...

"Mother Fuckin' Cookie Ears", "mammoth hearing vessels" Hahaha If her ears are half as big as you say they are, she won't need gps to track you as she could use those "mammoth hearing vessels" hahaha Huge Tits Fucked