Saturday, September 16, 2006

Hiatus Complete..

After a much needed and well deserved hiatus, I am back.

I guess I just needed time to gather some new material. (Not that it's not around me for every second of every day, but still..)

Last week, we decided that we needed a new lightbox poster. Not really out of the ordinary, since technically, swimsuit season is over in my neck of the woods and the bathing suit that was in there had to go.

Let it be known that I have very little in the way of poster selection in my back room. Head office has been claiming for approximately 3 months that new ones were on their way, but alas, there are no new ones.

So, rather than put in a different swimsuit poster, I rooted around for one of my old bra ones.

They're bad. They're really bad.

And old.

But I digress.. As usual.

I put in the best poster of the bunch. Some of them were, I'm sure, circa 1985 or before, and that's just unacceptable.

If you are a store owner and feel the need to have strange men of all ages and pre-pubescent boys stop, stare, and leer into your store suggestively, the following is a list of things that the skank on your lightbox poster must posess:

Bearskin rug
Slutty hosiery
Skanky hairdo
Greasy body
Come hither stare
Pillow lips
Extraordinary amount of makeup
Fake tits
Brazilian wax
Lollipop Head (Tiny body, huge head.. Anyone?)
Tootsie Roll

If, and when, you have all of the above, you are able to either pose, or photograph a lovely lightbox poster all your own.

What's a tootsie roll doing in the poster you ask?

That's what it looks like the skankbox in the picture is sporting in her brazilian waxed bikini! I swear to you. It looks like she's got a chub and is playing hide-the-vienna-sausage.

Still want one?



1 comment:

Big Orange said...

tootsie roll... That's all wrong. Either take it all off or let it all go, but none of this tootsie stuff.

Thank yew for sharin'.