An open letter to all job applicants...

So, you've decided to apply for a job.

Good for you.

Whether it's your first time, or you've done it before, you must know some basic rules. Don't be fooled. As much as they may seem like common sense, to many, they are not.

I don't know how, I don't know why, but some people seem to think that going for a job interview is almost like going to the bar.

It is not.

Basic Rules:

1. No Jeans *If you come to a job interview wearing jeans, you are more than likely not going to get the job. Unless you're applying at some sort of denim ranch. Even then, you are probably not going to get the job.*

2. No Tube/Halter/Backless/Pleather/Leather Tops *If I can see most of your rack, any prospect of a nipple slip, your back fat, or your bra, you are probably not going to get the job.*

3. Clothing That Fits *If I can see you're sporting a thong, a "muffin top", any form of "double boob", or, again, your back fat, you are probably not going to get the job.*

4. Camel Toe *Enough said.*

5. Interest In The Advertised Position *If you don't remember where you've applied, you're probably not going to get the job.*

6. Ability To Work Shifts *If you come into the interview and open by saying: " I can't work on ... or... and I need this off..., you're probably not going to get the job.*

7. Come Alone *If you come in with your posse, you are probably not going to get the job.*

Although this is only a small portion of the basic rules, I feel that this is sufficient to cover at least the resume drop off/interview portion of the evening..

I will add as I see fit, and/or, as more tards drop me off resumes.