Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold...

Hey, Boob Lady?

It's me, Carl.

Remember me?

S'up?

So, listen...About that whole plow thing?

It was a loyalty test. You failed miserably.

That was just a warm up.

You see, I've got big things planned for you and I.

Our life together has been an adventure thus far, no?

You think I don't know that you talk about me behind my back?

The "cool" picture of a car coming out of a wall? Been done. It's not funny.

The pictures of my smashed rear end for all to see? Skanks alot.

You don't think I went through enough?

You're heartless.

Telling people that you don't even know that you want me to drive off a bridge? Sweet, real sweet.

Versa? A fucking Versa?

Bitch, Please.

The battery and brake lights that were lit up on the dash tonight? (I know you saw them. Don't deny it. )

It was me.

Yeah, so?

You don't fuck with Carl.

Ever.

Think you'll actually make it to work tomorrow?

Let me consult my Magic 8 Ball.

It says: "Inconclusive".

That's a good enough no for me.

I can't wait 'til you're almost late for work and you're stuck on the side of the highway and I won't start.

Let's see who's laughing then.

You have a piss poor attitude, Boob Lady.

I really don't appreciate it.

Let's see how you deal with trying to hitch hike to work when I leave you stranded, or try and get a tow truck at that hour.

The battery and brake lights on the dash might mean nothing.

But, do they mean something?

Yeah, gotcha thinking didn't I?

I'll let you sleep on that one.

Sleep with one eye open though, I've got eyes and ears everywhere.

Don't fuhgettaboutit, eh?

Just try and leave me.

I know where you live.

Don't make me hurt you.

Sweet Dreams.