Go Into The Light...

My new apartment is fantastic.

I seriously love everything about it.

There is one downfall though.

I have no bathtub.

Don't get me wrong, I have somewhere to cleanse myself, I just don't have a tub to sit in.

I don't often like to sit in the bathtub for long periods of time anyway, but every now and then, a sister wants to take a load off, soak in the tub, have a glass of wine, and read a book.

Notsomuch at my place.

I have a stall.

A shower stall.

A ghetto one.

It's tiny too.

With barely enough room for me to properly cleanse all my womanly parts, the shower leaves much to be desired.

This evening as I was showering, I decided that I needed to shave my legs.

I saw my life flash before my eyes.

I am not even kidding.

Thanks to my flexibility and total devotion to shaving my legs, I somehow managed to prop one shapely leg at a time against the wall of the "shower" and do my business.

I thought I was going to die.

Before I knew it, I was tipping backwards into my shower caddy, razor in hand, seeing all the things you hear about before you die.

I thought it was my time.

As this was happening, all I kept thinking was that I was alone in here with my cats, nobody would know that I fell out of the shower, or got locked in an awkward position in the shower until I was at least 10 days late for work.

Nobody would come over.

Hell, harldy anyone knows where I live.

I was naked.

That's not what the poor paramedics need to see at first entry into my apartment.

If I was lucky, the fact that the window in the living room was open would have mummified me so that I was preserved in all my naked, wrinkly glory.

I made it out alive though, I'm dry, clothed, and I think I threw my hip out a little.

Besides that, I'm unscathed.