Cut Off...
Today marks the first day of my rigorous, if not feeble attempt at losing a shitload of weight before the beginning of July.
I can do it.
A steady diet of air and water is on my list.
Kidding.
Sort of.
I don't aspire to be a supermodel, just not a beached whale.
Next on my list is a kick ass tan (what with me being pasty and all...) and I'll be set.
25 comments:
pasty is better than skin cancer..
I keep saying I'm going to start my diet tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.
There is nothing wrong with being white and pasty. I've been white and pasty my whole life (the curse of being a redhead)
If you need any info on how to trick your body into not needing food, just let me know. I have been on a next to nothing diet since giving birth so I'm pretty much a pro.
I also suggest running.
I love tanning.
PS...Is that a picture of you?
Nobody: I know what you mean. Pasty is better than liver spots.
mcnazty: I've been see-through all my life too.. Solidarity.
dirty: Sweet, send me your tricks. I love tanning too. I just started running and walking.
And yes, someone took that picture of me tonight.. I was in the midst of a leprechaun leap!
You are very talented Boob Lady. I am jealous.
I suggest drinking at least a gallon of water a day and eating only once...other than that, graze on Corn Flakes...they are like crack. Oh yeah...and chew a lot of gum.
If you need a workout bra, I volunteer: I'll stand behind you and firmly but lovingly keep your girls from bouncing.
I lurve the pix, tho!!
dirty: Thank you! I'm working on the water thing, after cutting back on Pepsi, I've got withdrawl migraines. Who knew.. Love ya!
10,000 Spoons: Soudns lovely. Can you be here for noon tomorrow??
How about a colonic? They say you have between 7 to 15 pounds of poo in ya.
They say sex is a great way to lose calories too...
Buy a pedometer and walk, walk, walk. At least 10,000 steps a day. Keep your eyes on the ground and walk in new areas. You will be amazed at the things you will find laying around.
ps-very shapely legs.
Don't lose too much - the boobs are always the frist to go and I can't imagine The Boob Lady with little boobies.
From what I can tell from the picture:
A)You are a beauty as is! eh!
B)That's one sorry ass leprechaun leap!
C)You should stop urinating in public. Just saying is all.
~stis~
Let me start by saying that judging by your picture there is not a damned thing wrong with the way your body looks. Period. If you want to be healthier then more power to you. Water and exercise are great places to start, since we are all different you may have to make adjustments to what works best for you. I'm sure you knew all that, but I wanted to type something useful :)
Oh I am on a need to not be a fat ass diet too!!!!
I am miserable by the way and all I can think of is cookies.
Since you're like Spiderman - nobody knows what you look like, I'd guess that you're like most women and way too hard on yourself. You don't need to be model-like. They're too high maintenance anyway. Plus they all look at their flaws, too. Unless you have a wonky-eye and a skewed view of reality.
David
now Boobs, you know I'm pasty, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm either white white white or red. There's no in-between here. Unlike some (most?) people, I don't go from burned to tanned. I go from burned to kind of pink back to white.
I'm also in the process of losing a weight, but I don't know about a ton of it, and my goal is by August. Let me know how you're doing, we can be workout buddies a thousand miles away!
Don't loose too much weight, that's caving into the new stereotype.
Women are supposed to be curvy, dammit!
I think the flabby, pasty ladies of the universe need to unite. We can smother all the thin, tan girls with our impressively large upper arms, and then sit on them until they beg for mercy.
But honestly, if that's you in that picture (I assume it is), you don't look like you need to lose weight at all!
Don't starve yerself. I lost a shitload of weight (about 70 pounds)a few years back over the course of about 4 months. I ate fruit and yogurt for breakfast, had a meal replacement shake for lunch, and a huge salad with some grilled chicken or tofu for dinner and use light dressings (fat free tastes like chemicals). I cut out almost all breads and grains except for a little garlic toast with my salads and some high bran cereal from time to time. For snacks I ate tons of baby carrots. The beta caroteen in them will help with your tanning too. Do cardio in the morning to keep your metabolism up all day and go for walks at lunch time. I'd also try riding a bike to and from work if it's feasible. You'll be slim as shit and physically fit in no time.
That was kind of a long post.
ThePapaDog: That's what I hear. I was actually going to write that, but it might have gone unfunny. Sex is also a good thing. I hear.
Just Dave: I'm workin' on it! Turns out walking is fun! ps: Thank you. :)
GETkristiLOVE: I know, but in my case, they don't go first. I wouldn't BE the boob lady with little boobies!
~stis~: A) You're too kind! B) Action shots are not my forte, I couldn't hover. C) I know. I said the same thing.
g-man: You rock.
stilettoheights: We should start a club.
David: I like you more every time you come here.
Flenker: I know, it's a curse. We all have our crosses to bear. I can't tan. Or, rather, I don't tan well. Let's do it together!
Skylers Dad: I am curvy toots. :)
Emma: Wanna do it together? We can unite our Countries!!
Michael K: That's how I'm going about it. The smart way. Thanks!
Boob-
You're adorable... Light skin is popular around the world!
Lots of tiny meals spaced out through the day will help. Whole foods are best...
Water is overrated.
--Minty
I'm sure you would look just divine this summer. If you don't reach your target weight, all you have to do is get one of those translucent scarf things and drape it around your waste and shizz.
I personally can't comprehend how anyone wouldn't jump on you and molest you anyway. You're my haggy and I want to spoon you.
Yes?
Besos para siempre
I used to be able to lose it by not eating. At some point my metabolism said, "uh, if you don't eat I'm hanging on to every ounce, damnit!"
I found that making sure my body felt well cared for (hydration, veggies, whole food) it would find it's proper size. (which is not model / magazine size) But still gets a look or two.
Good luck, Boob Lady!
AHAHAHAHAH!!!
Love the pic.
Hideous: Thanks babe! Working on it. Water is indeed overrated, but it's better than the 193827219387 cups of sugar that the Pepsi was giving me.
Crazy Eddie: You're too kind my love. I want to spoon you every which way. Si.
Bubbles: Thanks babe!
WAT: LOL, thanks!
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